inner thoughts...

have I been a heartless being? to a degree I admit it. I was hurt too many times as a child growing up. Now when I look back, that is probably why I act so tough now. It has always been my mask, a wall to protect myself from the bitter loneliness of being left out. A nobody, a shadow, the bullied and the misunderstood.
I had no real friends who stayed true.
To cover it up I pretended to be happy, talkative and kept active with imaginations or else I might have gone insane for wanting to be a part of something.
The 5 years in secondary school allowed me to shine true to myself. I belonged somewhere, I had a circle of friends, people who openly talked to me, the good and the bad, who stayed true to themselves.
Isolation happened again when I went to college as I watched others enjoy themselves, I did not know why I punished myself and tested the grounds with my other personalities. In the end, I found some friends who saw me for who I am and accepted me no matter how ugly it was.


Thoughts:
"There are always two sides to a story. Judge well."